4 Ways To Combat Feeling Homesick During The Holidays

Being #homesick during the holidays can be stressful for anyone, but knowing how to alleviate some of those feelings can make all the difference in your physical and mental health.

After a year like 2021, a year filled with false hope for a semblance of normalcy, a year filled with second and third and fourth lockdowns, debates about seeing non-vaccinated family members, and lost jobs or new jobs, not being able to spend time with loved ones during the #holidays can just feel like the straw the broke the camel's back.

The important thing to remember is that you're not alone. I'm over 4,400 miles away from my family in New York, and I haven't seen them for the holidays in over three years. You've probably heard this said one million times since the pandemic started, but these are unprecedented times. Making sure you're taking care of your mental health by doing the things that matter to you is the only way to take things one day at a time.

Since I've somehow become a seasoned veteran when it comes to important days away from family, here are my go-to's for my winter blues.

4 Ways to Combat Feeling Homesick During the Holidays.

1) Schedule time to watch a movie together.

One of the things that has helped me the most over the past two years has been scheduling movie dates. It seems silly, but it's one of the things that has made me feel the closest with my #family. Happy hour and quick calls to check-in are great ways to keep in touch and stay up-to-date on the daily happenings of each other's lives, but I don't think I'm alone in feeling like we overdid it a little bit when the pandemic first started. I mean, what else were we supposed to do when we truly believed that this would be over after a 14-day quarantine? Instead, I’ve found that sitting down to watch a movie together accomplishes a couple of things. First, carving out a few hours for your loved ones, and them doing the same for you - as opposed to just a few minutes - brings another level of respect to the relationship. It’s a sign that just because you’re far away doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate their time. But more importantly, watching a movie together makes it feel like you’re right there with each other. Sitting down and doing something casual, something seemingly “every day”, tricks your brain into thinking that you're all sitting together and that you never left in the first place.

2) Keep the traditions going by doing them where you are and who you’re with.

Mom’s Christmas cookies might not taste the same when you make them, but I promise you trying the recipes yourself will make up for the difference in flavor. Even if it’s just the aromas of gingerbread or cranberries or apple pie, I can almost guarantee you will start to feel less homesick after trying. Neurologists discovered that smells bypass the thalamus in your brain and go right for the olfactory bulb, or the brain’s “smell center.” In other words, the part of your brain that is responsible for memory and emotion is in close physical connection to the parts of the brain responsible for smell, and so even smelling your Mom’s Christmas cookies will elicit those feelings of being home with your family. If your family traditions are something else altogether, something that doesn’t require cooking or baking, maybe it’s picking out a Christmas tree or lighting the menorah, the science still applies. Emotional memories are the result of “cued recall”, so if you’re looking to feel those warm, fuzzy feelings you get when spending time with family, just know you can feel the same warm & fuzzies in their absence, as well.

3) Try something completely new.

Yep, that’s right. In addition to trying to replicate your family traditions, try starting some of your own. I’ve found that the years where I don’t do either, I feel like I’m just missing out on the holidays altogether. And as much fun as family traditions can be, let’s be real, not ALL of them are fun. So in contrast to my last point, pick the traditions you want to replicate, but then also discover new ones. Making new memories is essential to our #mentalhealth, and if you have a good group of #friends (who may also be feeling #homesick), spending time together building new #traditions helps reinforce those feelings you get when you’re with your family. Although this family may not be biological, they can still feel like family during the holidays.

4) Disconnect from social media.

I know this one seems like the opposite of what you would do if you’re missing your family, but hear me out. Social media is designed to keep us playing the comparison game. Whether you’re looking at photos of friends enjoying time with their families or you’re looking at photos of your own family, you’re bound to start feeling down if you think you’re missing out. So get yourself out of the scroll hole and put your phone aside. Spend time being present where you are. Turn the music up loud and decorate or draw a warm bath and cuddle up with a good book. But make sure you’re prioritizing yourself during these dark holiday months. Remember: self-care is never selfish.

If you've found that any of these work for you, or just knowing you're not alone in your homesickness during the holidays has offered you some serenity, let me know in the comments below.

xoxo Kiwi